Kitten-Clad Leg Warmers & Trying

We’ve all seen her. The hell-raising, determined Fitness Mom bulldozing the sidewalk with her stroller like its an extension of her uncontrollable minivan. She’s thin, of course, but toned from her regimen of cardio and lifting. She’s decked out in fabulous Lululemon workout gear. And oh yeah, she has a baby (she’s not just pushing weights in that stroller but hey, that thought might have crossed her mind). The baby is also wearing workout gear but with the addition of kitten-clad leg warmers. Adorbs.

This lady never would have dated you in high school and would never have been your friend. You’d probably have carried her books and she would have called you by the wrong name. (“It’s not Margie but that’s ok…”)

If you are exercising near this lady, she will lap you. Continually. You’ll be sweating bazookas and she won’t perspire a drop. Or if she does, it will only result in an angelic glow that she meant to have. She might lap you in other things too, like having a better job, house, attractive spouse and bright kids who will become successful and pamper her in her old age (this lady will also look 30 forever). She’ll power by you with her stroller and her baby will shake the kittens in arrogance.

Let her lap you. She’s a non-issue. Don’t be discouraged. Not by her. You are there too. Trying. And you’re lapping those standing at the burrito stand. For the win. Bazookas.

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