Come With Me If You Want Your Chair to Live

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As if we all needed to hear it again, here it is: sitting is killing you. Slowly. Worse than the albino torturing Wesley. Except that you can’t just yell TRUEE LOVEE and it all stops. Inigo Montoya’s sword is not being guided to a hidden underground tree chamber to come and save you. It’s just not happening at the moment.

Sitting truly is the silent killer, according to multiple infographics that office coworkers send to each other. While sitting. At their computers. And never. Standing. Up. After 8 hours of mailing cat gifs back and forth to your office bestie in your average, spinning business chair, your back and bones probably start to feel sitting’s evil sting. It must be stopped.

So what do we do? Forfeit the battle for our bodies and turn over into artificially intelligent robots? No, it’s too early for that.

Ahem, excuse the shameless plug, but Fitbeast can help. That’s why Chester is here. To help you be healthier and stuff. Allow Chester to let you in on a little secret:

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Fituals. Tiny little reminders that remind you to do one little thing: move.

Every hour from 9am – 5pm, which is the typical workday for the tax-paying steak-loving, computer-dwelling American, a tiny Chester will remind you to move (if you haven’t already). Just, move. Get up out of your chair, take a few steps, improve your health. Repeat. And end sitting’s dominance over your sad chair. It probably deserves a break. Poor chair.

You can thank us when you have those extra years on your life handy to earn a Nobel Prize or write that novel that rests on the shelves between Twain and Dostoyevsky. Or the Princess Bride. All classics.

What do you have to lose? Give it a try. Chester’s nice. He’s funny. He likes steps. And burritos. The more steps you take, the more burritos you can probably have. Seems fair.

– Get Fituals

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How To Assemble The Perfect Burrito

AKA a moment with Chester’s favorite food.

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 STEP 1: Tortillas

Grill it, warm it, wheat it, veg it, skip it, rename it. Whatever, just, tortillas.
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STEP 2: Beans
Black, pinto, refried, all fine. But fact? Black beans are low in fat, high in fiber, and tasty. Opt for them for less smooshing.
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STEP 3: Rice
 
Brown rice, cilantro lime rice, spicy mexican rice, all yes.
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STEP 4: Meat
 
Chicken? Carne asada? Carnitas? Tofu? None? Good with some company or just on its own, like a vacation.
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STEP 5: Salsa
 
When things get messy and magical. Drench in hot dream sauce.
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STEP 6: Lettuce
 
Go away guilt, I’m having vegetables.
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STEP 7: EAT
 
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STEP 8: Steps
 
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Does Anyone Really Relate to This?

Robots live among us. And they have very, very tanned abs.

When you’re mustering up the energy to go work out, do you think of a photo like this and say, “WHOA! YES! INSPIRING! NOW I’LL GO. THAT WILL BE ME!”

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Personally the only thing it inspires us to do is binge eat tater tots while irrationally cursing and contemplating how much muscle is potentially gained by squirting the last drops out of a ketchup bottle.

We’re more into this:

chesterrelatableBecause we can relate to a pudgy corgi so much better than a 10 foot tall glamazon with flawless skin and fluffed out hair whose brand rep is trying to convince us just finished an intense workout.

Is the girl with oiled abs really inspirational? Countless fitness brands and Pinterest posts seem to think so. But we happen to think that it might do the exact opposite, and initiative a defeatist attitude before you can even put on your walking shoes. And who wants that? Who is this girl? She’s not us. We don’t have thigh gaps (it’s a club and, yes, we have t-shirts: “CLOSE THE GAP”).  We doubt she’s you either (unless you’re a man, and then she’s definitely not you. Probably).

It’s not about her extremely oiled, tanned abs. Repeat – this is not about bulk buying coconut oil from Costco and rubbing it onto your torso to take the most perfectly lit, glimmering magical unicorn abs shot. This is about getting out there, racking up some burrito steps, and cultivating a positive lifestyle, all before getting back to business. Or video games. Or your video game business. Point is, get in some movement and then go back to what you do for a living so you can – ahem – keep living.  Mind blown.

Maybe next time you need some fitness inspiration, think of Chester doing this instead:

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Fitbeast Now Available on Google Play

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Great news! The Fitbeast app is officially available in the Google Play Store. That means you are now a majestic Fitbeast. At least, you could be. Sometimes it takes a little help from a friend. Chester the corgi wants to be that friend. He is your tiny partner for fitness things that motivate you to exercise and be healthy. You know, when he’s not eating burritos. He likes burritos.

Fitbeast integrates with your Google Fit account to enhance your healthy lifestyle through the encouragement of a furry comrade. After all, you’re in this together. And together, you and Chester can achieve burritos. So. Many. Burritos.

Listen up, folks. Chester isn’t your ordinary corgi. He does a lot of things. Things that he can’t quite explain but he still spins that sweet corgi mind in motion and tries his darndest. For example, Chester will:

• Kick his corgi legs into gear and join you on fitness adventures. There’s no way he’s missing out. Just, no way.

• Eat burritos. Did we mention Chester likes burritos? He wants to help you earn his favorite food, so that you reach your fitness goals. Each 25,000 steps = 1 burrito. So start earning your delicious kudos, kiddos.

• Lend words of encouragement as often or not-often as you desire. If you don’t want them Chester can take a hint. He’s not crying he was just cutting onions to make a lasagna. For one.

• Provide invaluable wisdom and information cultivated during his fascinating corgi lifetime. You could say a corgi taught you something. And we think that’s something special. Corgi special.

Chester knows this is his chance to make a difference. A fitness difference. A fiterence, if you will. He won’t mess this up. Help him help you so that You = Fitbeast. You had him at burrito. — Get the app.

It’s a Wonderful Wearables World

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Chester doesn’t wear any clothes. But at the same time, he’s not naked. It’s kind of a paradox. But the one thing he does wear is a device to track the number of steps he takes each day (its on his foot – hidden beneath bushels of fur – it’s a corgi thing). He thinks how many steps you take is kind of important to know. Like your IQ.

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Actually, that number is Chester’s daily steps goal. It’s probably better if his true IQ were kept a mystery.

Wearable fitness devices are more popular than ever, and gaining traction for 2015. It might be time to see what all the hoopla is about and look into the right option for you. Bracelet? Clip? Watch? Choices galore are coming, so pay attention, people. And corgis. Corgis too.

Chester recently realized some people wear visors instead of traditional trucker hats. He’s thinking this will be the next hipster thing. Everyone with beards and visors. You heard it here first.

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Visors and beards don’t really relate to wearables but that’s just Chester.

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Why Stretching is the Greatest Feeling in the World

blog-thought-bubble-subheadlineStretching feels good. Darn good. That sweet release in your arms, legs or back is like a punch to the hypothalamus. An instant stress-reliever that tells your crappy day to flush itself down the toilet.

But it doesn’t get all the glory of the Prom Queen cardio workout. Or the artistic reverence reserved for the balanced diet. It’s The Brady Bunch’s Jan of the fitness world. It gets the “Go away, Jan. No one has time for you. Oh, Jan.”

peacesignThis middle child of exercise deserves a little recognition. After all, did you know that stretching burns calories? And it does so without too much sweating. You could do stretches on a first date and it’d be completely normal and ick-free (maybe). Also, stretching regulates breathing. Which, you know, is important, for, like, breathing and stuff.

Stretching is the perfect anecdote to your day-long impersonation of a stone edifice in an office chair. Every little move helps improve strength and flexibility.

So, who’s going to say it? Anyone? OK, we will. So, um, what do you stretch? What are the time-tested, only-things-that-are-certain-are-death-and-taxes types of stretches to do?

Well, we’d start with a few classic yoga moves like these. They’re pretty easy even for the most inflexible person, and the girl demonstrating them in this article doesn’t seem like some crazed gym rat that can simultaneously bend her legs over her head and snort protein powder up her nostrils. She seems like an okay gal. A happy pal who wants to buy you a dairy-free frozen yogurt. (Totally would go get that yogurt with her, by the way.) She’s got one of those faces that says her voice is soothing and her hair can be automatically swept up into the perfect messy bun. But you don’t even hate her for it because she just wants to help you stretch. Authentic.

You may learn to love stretching so much that you become one of those people with a sign on your door that says “Privacy, please. Stretching.” Stretching what, exactly, visitors won’t know, but you’ll be too deep into the good feels that it won’t matter. Or you’ll become one of those cheeky bumper sticker owners with a real gem that reads “Stretch This.” Classy.

Another perk of stretching? You can look at beautiful photos while you do it. Photos like these. Ones that happen to have a tiny Chester in them. Enjoy!

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Fitbeast is Friend, Not Food

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Chester thinks of himself as your friend. Really, he does. Did you know that? He thinks you have something special. He’s here for you. Like an Amazon Prime package delivered two days later on the dot. He’s like clockwork, packaged with a piece of paper that says “Enjoy your gift! It’s Chester!” He arrives to you ready for duty.

Have you thought about how great it could be? Just you and Chester out in that great big world, ready to meet your fitness goals with gusto. He’ll keep you in check as you try to remember to work out, take a walk, or reject that piece of cake your coworker keeps thrusting at you. (Chester would help deliver that perfect one liner that says they should show some respect to those cutting back on sweets and DO THEY WANT TO BE HIT IN THE FACE WITH BUTTERCREAM BECAUSE THAT WILL HAPPEN SO MOVE ON KTHXBAI).

Chester’s fitness goals aren’t complicated. You won’t find him all beefed up in some gym oozing testosterone and dusted in protein power. (Most of the equipment isn’t built for four legs, anyway.) He just wants to be healthy and feel good.

He likes the good feels.

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So simple, right? But sometimes it seems like we forget that exercise gives you good feels. As if when some wise person were to inscribe, “exercise makes you feel good” on a fortune cookie, it would be this mind-blowing experience to read. And then stomach-blowing to eat. It defies comprehension. Almost as unfathomable as why Kourtney Kardashian continues to have babies with Scott Disick. It echoes the definition of insanity.

The answer? Take a walk (queue Passion Pit chorus). Are you a little down on the pudge collecting over your jeans? Not feeling like your hot Scar-Jo self? Get outside. Move around. It’s simple, really. Exercise – even the mild, over-the-counter, minimum-sweat “is-this-really-helping-me” kind of exercise – is, indeed, helping. Chester gets it, and he wants you to get it too. Put simply, it’s better than nothing. And one step up from nothing is something. So this is the year to do something.

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