Leave It At The Door

leavesFall is here and it’s the best. Is it because society has finally taken its obsession with pumpkin spice too far? (Pumpkin Pringles? Really? The world isn’t ready.) No, put down the PSL and consider this: it’s the leaves. The crunch. The satisfying crunch. The ubiquitous sound of that special season between summer and winter.

Venturing outdoors becomes a crisp playground of child-like wonder. (Crisp: obligatory adjective used when describing apples, fall, leaves or a combination of the three.) Each leaf that releases itself from the tree and trickles to the ground beckons to you, urging you to embrace your inner Henry David Thoreau and meet nature with open arms. Arms that ache to flap and make fall’s version of a snow angel in a pile of freshly raked leaves.

Sometimes during the month of October there’s nothing better than lacing up your walking shoes, layering on a long sleeve tee, and stepping out onto the gold and brown riddled pathway. You leave your house, forgetting your cares and stepping out to embrace the adventure. It’s cathartic, feeling this thrilling transitional time of year. A period of promise. Where do you go from here? To winter? No, not quite. But it’s coming…

Each crunch beneath your feet is a goal you will reach. Yellow crunch. “I’m going to walk 20 minutes a day.” Red crunch. “I’m going to stand twice every hour.” Brown crunch. “I will go easy on the array of pumpkin spice products that contain zero pumpkin and/or spice.”

Pulverizing the foliage beneath your feet empowers you to make a covenant to yourself to live better. The world is changing before your eyes, thriving in spectacular color. So why can’t you too? Allow your best self to transform and unfold. You’ll probably like what you see.

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Butt Smooshing Affects 1 in 3

OK, maybe that’s not an accurate statistic. Or a real physical ailment. But it is a reality for Chester. It’s like he’s trotting along, minding his own burrito business, contemplating if his likeness would make a good Beanie Babie, and then suddenly:  buttsmooshing

He can feel his butt smooshing. It smooshes, people.

Sometimes Chester will feel his derriere try to give him a pat on the back, and the sensation will immediately remind him of the ultimate floatation device, The Blob, as depicted in the greatest film of all time, Heavyweights.

theblob

The Smooshing Affect, as it is scientifically known, (these are real facts, people – REAL), is reminiscent of a candy-packing adolescent flying majestically off of the massive blow up balloon and into a tranquil lake.

candy

No, he means The Blob. But anyways, don’t get Chester wrong, he’s

bass

But sometimes, the smooshing makes him wonder about the good feels. And we know Chester is all about the good feels. So today he will walk a little longer. Because a little less smooshing will go nicely with the hors d’oeuvres he’s planning to serve later.

amuse